A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
