You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
