My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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