So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
