vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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