forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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