why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
