real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
