i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
