Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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