Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
