got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
