i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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