You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
