i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
