she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
