Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
