I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
