I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
