You really coming over, don't trick.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
