we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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