You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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