pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
should my penis look like a turkey
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
