look no pants
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
