he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
