Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
