did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
