So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
