I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
