Its about making memories worth repressing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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