But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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