I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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