my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
