I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
