im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
