I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
