You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
