i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
