No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i think i just lost a toe
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
