I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
