she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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