He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
