i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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