He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
