i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
