She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
