That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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