I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
