We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i think my cat just said my name.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
