I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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