My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
